Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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