i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
