it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
