I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
