me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
