yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
