It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
