I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He shit in the fireplace
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
