Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
