Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
