Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My balls are so social today.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
