She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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