He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
