He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
