I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
