how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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