Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
