After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
