Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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