The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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