It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize