Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
