if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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