I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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