Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
