What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
