I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
