did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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