She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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