A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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