i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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