I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
