I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
