i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
