i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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