My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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