Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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