What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
