it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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