Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
