Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I have post one night stand depression
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
