just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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