Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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