he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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