Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
