I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
