I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
