My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
