it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
