You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
