Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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