I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
